One year ago...

One year ago I married my best friend,
the one I want to grow old with,
the one I love more with every breath I take.

One year ago we promised to love each other
as long as we both shall live.

Little did I know that one year later...
We'd have our first home.
And, in 6 months, there would be a new little Jones joining us in that home.

Yes, you read that right. I am expecting - due May 16th. We are both thrilled (obviously).

I'm sorry I took a hiatus from the blog. I missed you all, but it was WAY too hard to keep this secret inside for as long as I did. Stepping away from blogging was the only way I knew how. I hope y'all will forgive me. :)

To those wondering...

I've had a few friends contact me because they noticed I hadn't blogged in a long time. (Thank you to Julie, Kyra, and Katie for noticing I've been MIA! xoxo)

I promise, I'm ok! I'm just taking a hiatus from blogging to focus on some life stuff, the house, and my husband.

I will have some new (and exciting) posts for you soon. Just try to be patient...they're worth it! :)

** Drool **

I am so in love with this Marc by Marc Jacobs bag. I may need to sell everything I own in order to get it...

Decisions, Decisions (decorating help needed!)

Life at the house has finally started to slow down. We are officially moved in (last Saturday!) and the kitties are officially in their new home (took them a few days to settle in).

While Mr Jones is tackling all the little household projects like repainting the doors and fixing some plumbing issues, I've taken on the task of decorating.

Yikes!

It's safe to say I'm a newbie in the decorating world. I've never truly had a space to make my own (apartments don't really count to me)...it's a bit intimidating! There. are. so. many. options.

My latest quandary is the curtains in the great room. I just can't decide which ones I like best. So, I'm turning to all of you for opinions! :)

A little about the room: The paint color is a pale creamy yellow (Sherwin Williams Jersey Cream) and our furniture is dark brown.

And, no, the tables and vase won't be in front of the window...they are just there for the time being until I can find a better home for them.

Curtain options:

#1 - West Elm


#2 - Bed Bath & Beyond


#3 - Bed Bath & Beyond

I'm still alive!

Wow...remodeling a house has taken over my life! For the past two weeks, Mr Jones and I have spent all of our free time working on the house.

It's all coming to an end though (thank goodness...I'm tired!). The bedrooms are painted and carpet will be installed on Friday. The professional painter is coming tomorrow to start working on the great room, kitchen/dining room, and hallways. I am beyond excited to see how it's going to look when everything is finished!

I promise to post updated pictures soon. :)

In the mean time, I'll leave you with a picture of me with my trusty sander sidekick (we've become great friends).

Sorry the quality sucks; I used my phone. Oh, and I promise I don't have a weird skin disease on my forehead...

Time for a little freshening up?

Bloggy Blog Designz is having a Giveaway!!! They are giving away all kinds of goodies. Plus, ALL entrants will receive 20% off any purchase through the end of the month! Be sure to check out their website for more information, or to enter yourself. Take a look at their portfolio and packages to see what's right for you.

The first 5 entrants will receive a $15 giftcard. The giveaway will close on August 21st, so be sure to have your posts done and comments left by midnight! Good Luck to everyone!

Wishful Thinking...Wishful Shopping

First of all, sorry for the downer posts earlier this week. I promise I will be more upbeat now.

In the wake of Tuesday's bittersweet mood, I decided to cheer myself up with some shopping...of the virtual variety. It's the only kind of shopping I can do right now. We have a ton of house-related expenses and I think Mr Jones might file for a divorce if I came home with a bunch of shopping bags.

Ok...not really...but he sure wouldn't be happy!

So, without further ado, my little virtual shopping spree! :)

How cute this jewelry tree?! The little birdies are just so sweet. I don't really know why I love it so much, but I do. I saw it in the store yesterday and carried it around with me before resigning myself to the fact that I don't need it...and frivolous, unnecessary purchases are a no-no. *sigh*


I am so in love with this Zoe round mirror set (or here). I even registered for it for our wedding (haha!). It would be so perfect in our house. Maybe once we are finished, Mr Jones will let me buy it...*fingers crossed*

While I was searching for a gift for a friend, I came across the La Belle Dame website...and her memorial items for miscarriages and infant loss. My favorite is the Infant Loss memorial keychain. Perhaps some day, I will order one with an amethyst bead for my February love bug who lives in my heart.


And while we're looking at keychains, I really love this Love Faith Happiness one from Etsy as well. I think it's because I have a "thing" for turtles... :)


Moving on...
I really need new black boots for the Fall and Winter. I fully realize it's 90*+ outside right now and cooler temperatures are just a pipe dream, but I like to be prepared.

Madden Girl Pynko - I'm loving the buckles on these boots! They are fun yet work appropriate.


Madden Girl Raleigh - The ruffle on these boots is so. darn. cute. I am in major lust!

Blowfish Willis - These boots are just so darn comfy. I definitely think they'd be my every day, go to boots. Love them.

And what girl doesn't love a new purse? Certainly not I! I've always been on the lookout for the perfect red purse. The Sak Laurel Hobo might be just the one to satisfy that want...it's a great size. Not too big, not too small.

It's a bittersweet kind of day

Today, I would have been in my 2nd Trimester.

13 weeks and 1 day.

It doesn't sound like a lot of time, does it? But it's the milestone so many women strive to reach because it means the risk of miscarriage declines. It's the milestone I couldn't reach no matter how badly I wanted to.

Right now, I should be starting to get a "baby bump". I should be announcing to my friends, extended family, and coworkers that I'm going to be a mommy. I should be excitedly planning for my little one. Instead, I'm sitting here knowing that he (we just knew we were having a boy) is waiting for me in heaven. It's so bittersweet.

I wonder what next time will be like?
Will I be giddy with excitement the way I was before?
Or will I be too worried every step of the way to be so blissfully excited?

I hate that the miscarriage has taken away my pregnancy innocence, my "nothing can get me down because I'm going to be a mommy!" attitude. I hate that it has made me somewhat jaded and wary of what's to come.

I see other girls, newly pregnant, excitedly picking out baby bedding and clothing and I think to myself, "Don't do it because what happens if you lose your baby??"

I really don't want to be that girl. Hopefully, she doesn't stay too long...

Beautiful Song

I wanted to share this video with all of you. It touches my heart in so many ways...especially now.

Some day, I will be a mommmy.

Warning: Be sure to have tissues ready before you watch the video.

Seriously. I'm not kidding. Get the tissues...and if you choose not to listen to my warning, don't come crying (literally) to me. Hehe...



The story behind the song:

I knew it was happening to me…but I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. I went to my writing session with my producer, Wayne Kirkpatrick, anyway. When I got there, it got worse. I was really cramping and bleeding now. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, “I think something bad is happening.”

He was looking at his computer trying to bring up some sounds for a song we were working on…"Huh?” he said and looked up as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

I heard myself say the words, “I think I’m having a miscarriage.” He stood up and hugged me. He was very comforting but I said, “I have to call my husband, Geoff [Koch], I have to go home.”

I wondered if I had worked out too hard. Maybe I ate something bad. Why was this happening to me?Was I too stressed out? Did I wait too long to have a baby? I was getting hysterical. Maybe it will stop and the baby will be alright.

Geoff answered the phone, “Hello?”
“It’s getting worse,” I blurted out, sobbing.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“I’m driving.”
“I want you to calm down. Do you need to pull over?"
“No. I just want to get home and lay down.”
“You are closer to the doctor’s office. Can you drive yourself there? I will meet you. You have to calm down first, though. It’s going to be alright.”

Geoff has this way of making me feel like it’s gonna be okay.He is a rock.

Kellie and her husband, Geoff, had decided to wait to have a family while Kellie’s career took off.

My career was all encompassing. It was like stepping onto a moving train. I was working so hard. I was so focused. There were two things that I wanted in life more than anything. One was to be a singer and the other was to be a mom. I kept telling myself (and my husband), we’ll get pregnant after I can get established in the business, after this next single, once my second album hits retail…after I get a hold of this thing.

Like most women I wanted to have it all: a great marriage, fulfilling career and be a hands-on Mom. The reality is there is a price for everything. I knew there was discrimination involving female artists getting pregnant in the recording industry. It was looked upon as a lack of commitment.You’ll lose your edge. You’ll get fat and have to take a break from touring and promoting your records.

My record label executives never directly said that I would be putting my career at risk by getting pregnant. However, the rampant negative comments about other female singers that were having babies made their position clear: You’ll seriously damage your career.

So I put it off. I didn’t start my family when I wanted to…I kept working. I was touring with some of the biggest names in country music and hearing my songs on the radio but something was missing…children. I looked up and I was 32.

At that point, the songstress knew that she had a decision to make – her career or a family.

So,I had a choice to make and for me there really was no choice. As a newer, non-established artist I knew what I was risking but I knew what I wanted. Because I was so excited, I let it slip out at a business dinner with my manager that my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant.

Within a month, my manager was gone and so was my record label. I was surprised at the speed with which I found myself on the outside.

While I tried to pick up the pieces of my career, I turned most of my attention to preparing myself for motherhood, at least the getting pregnant part. I read everything there was to read. Mostly, I worried that somehow it wasn’t going to happen for me, that I had waited too long and I wouldn’t be able to conceive. It wasn’t rational but it was a real fear.

After a year of trying, it all poured out in a song writing session. I laid my soul bare with my co-writers. Within a couple of hours we had written, “I Would Die For That.” I wasn’t sure I could ever sing it in public because it made me cry every time I just read the lyrics.

The amazing thing was that I found out I was pregnant within a few days after writing the song. My husband and I started dreaming about a child. Was it a girl or a boy? What would we name him or her? I was walking on a cloud. I poured myself back in to my songwriting with a vengeance. I could have it all and it was full speed ahead. Then came the worst day of my life.

Sobbing while I drove myself to my doctor’s office, I kept saying out loud, “No. This can’t be happening to me. I already love this baby.” Within a few days, we left for Oklahoma to spend Thanksgiving with my family, where I had planned to tell them all I was pregnant. At least I was surrounded by my family that weekend.

Kellie and her husband decided to try again and she was soon expecting.

My doctor assured me that nothing I did caused my miscarriage. Still, I decided not to try to be superwoman during this pregnancy. I slowed down. Having this baby was the most important thing in my life. “I Would Die For That.” Not only did I not want to do anything to put the pregnancy at risk, I wanted to enjoy it.

A few months into my pregnancy, I started writing and recording again and it felt different. The songs came from a deeper place. It was as if I was being reborn as an artist and as a person as my baby grew inside me. Most of the final vocals and many of the songs on my album Walk On were written and recorded while I was pregnant.

In November 2005, I gave birth to my son. The lyrics of the song, “I Would Die For That” still echo and feel real each time I sing the song. Now when I sing it, it’s filled less with a haunting personal desperation and more with a complete understanding and empathy for the women who are still on that journey and have endured far more pain than I have.

While I am still an artist and still pursuing my career, I now know that there is nothing more precious to me than my son and I was right — I would die for that.

Giveaway Winner!

Sorry for the lateness of this post...Mr Jones and I spent most of the night perusing the paint samples I picked up from Sherwin Williams on my way home from work. I kid you not, I picked up at least 30 of the sample cards. I am so indecisive. I think we have most of our colors picked out, but that's another post for another day. :)

Back to the matter at hand, the winner of my nail polish giveaway! When I plugged the info into the Random.org generator and saw the winning number pop up, I was happy...I'll admit it.


This beautiful lady is momma to two adorable little boys...and she's one of the best moms I know. I'm sure she has her hands full right now, but hopefully, she will find time to use her gorgeous new nail polish. Jules, please send me your address so I can send it out to you!