Update on me - 7/10

It's been just over a week since we said goodbye to our sweet baby. I’m generally coping well. I can keep my emotions under control; I don't break down at work. Sure, I have "moments" (like on the way home from work the other day), but that's to be expected.

The worst part (for me) is having to talk about it, to explain to people that no, I'm not pregnant anymore; I lost my baby. As soon as those words are out of my mouth, I can see the pity, the sympathy, and the fact that they have no idea what to say to me. The truth is, I don't want them to say anything to me. I don't want to see the pity. I don't want to hear the cliché sympathies - These things happen for a reason. This is God's way of weeding out the sick/unhealthy babies. The list goes on and on. Don't get me wrong, I know all things happen for a reason, but hearing people say it sure doesn't make the loss any easier to deal with.

The worst was the ER doctor at the first hospital (6/22). He told me, "If you do miscarry, it's your body's way of saying something was wrong with the baby. Maybe it would have been covered in hair with a tooth sticking out the side of its head." Seriously. Who says that to a woman who might miscarry her baby?!? Telling me that my baby could be a deformed insult to evolution that is better off dead is not helpful or comforting. It's just plain mean!